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The Harsh Realities of the World

And the Harsher Realities of Life

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thedeathbolt

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September 5th, 2008

The semi-recent hype about the Twighlight series has been, and still does, drive me bonkers. I've read the first five chapters of the first book because I promised Alex I would start it before August came to an end. I fulfilled my promise; I started the book. I'll eventually finish reading it just so there's no question about how I fulfilled my part of the agreement.

I'm sticking to a conclusion that I drew from something Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer said: There's no such thing as a good vampire. The only exception is the vampire that's a priest in Inqy's webcomic Wicked Alchemy. I refuse to change my opinion. It may be cruel, but then again so is turning innocent humans into terrible creatures just to satify your own thrist for blood.

Despite my aversion to vampires, I almost couldn't pass up the "What Kind of Vampire Are You?" quizon the-n.com. I thought of it as my way to prove that I certainly am NOT a vampire. Eheh, I was kinda right. It says I'm cute and fuzzy; a vampire bat, not an actual murderous vampire. So...yay!

June 1st, 2008

My Virtual Tree

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I'm not entirely sure if this is an actual tree or not, but I think it saves the Amazon forest a litle bit....

<a It's free and the site reminds you about what you should do reduce carbon emissions and such. If I'm correct, Internet Explorer provides seeds for the type of tree in the forest that you choose to plant a tree in. You get to choose from the Amazon rainforest, the African Savanna, or Sumatra (it's in southern Asia). Well, I really do want to save the world, so I'm hoping this helps!

March 31st, 2008

Survival Calls in the Wild

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My paper so far:

Survival Calls in the Wild
Since the beginning of life, living beings have adapted to their environment to survive. They have developed characteristics that have helped them to adapt, such as dental configuration (sharp teeth for tearing meat) or changing their outer coverings (skin, fur, etc.). This process is referred to as evolution and it is the way in which living beings have survived for such a long time. However, the opposite is true for Buck, the canine protagonist of Jack London’s The Call of the Wild. To survive his environment, Buck went through the process of devolution. In The Call of the Wild, Buck adapted to his environment to survive.

Black Ethel

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So I created an RPG character for an RPG on The-N.com and I was up until 3 a.m. Sunday morning attempting to put it on the site but this new laptop decided to the irk the heck out of me instead. I saved the character sheet on Microsoft Word and for some inexplicable reason the document is locked so now I can't even copy and paste it. It doesn't help that I have a 170 point paper due Thursday for English class.
Anyway, I want to put the character sheet on the message board so I can play, but I want to put it somewhere that it can be saved and easily accessed by myself. That's why I'm putting it here. I can't believe I spent three hours typing the original draft up...

The RPG is set in a medieval fantasy setting in a country called Q'thar.

Bio:

Name: Ethel (Black Ethel to any pirate)

Age: Approximately 222

Race: Witch, but has a bit of Fae somewhere on her father's side.

Favored Fighting Form: She likes to fight like a pirate with her cutlass and occasionally her flintlock pistol. However, if it is a serious fight she will use her magic, needing only her hands and her mind.

Appearance: Ethel is 5'5" and 140 pounds. Her stomach only has a little bit of what seems to be baby fat, and that is normally covered by her loose clothing. Ethel doesn't look much older than 20 years old and her skin is a bit pale, probably because she doesn't go out very often when the sun is up. Her hair is a very dark brown that is occasionally mistaken for black. It is quite long, flowing at least half way down her back but she almost always has it tied back into a ponytail by a dark leather band. Her eyes are brown, containing a few shades of brown, usually not vary too far away from a dark brown. Not that many people get close enough to see these varying shades. She wears loose black pants that end past her ankles and are made of cloth. She wears a white long-sleeved shirt underneath a black scoop-necked bodice with straps. She also wears a long, dark-red, usually unbuttoned captain's jacket that reaches to the bottom of her calves and splits near the middle of her thigh. The jacket has large golden buttons going down the right side. On the same side, there is a hidden pocket on the inside that is quite deep. She wears a wide, dark brown leather belt around her waist, which holds a flintlock pistol on her right side and her cutlass sword on the other side. She wears shiny black leather boots that end somewhere around her upper calf area. Around Ethel's neck is a necklace made up of small balls of hematite linked to together by short, thin strands of onyx with a silver locket pendant that rests between her neck and the neckline of her bodice On the front of the circular pendant are words inscribed from her native language. Within the locket is an image of a male pirate that was (and one day will once again be) her love. Her hands have many rings on them, almost all of them featuring large stones. The hare that marks just about every witch is abnormally small for Ethel. It is on the side of the knuckle of the finger next to the smallest finger on her right hand: barely noticeable.

Personality: Ethel has become calloused from past experiences and has a habit of accidentally scaring people. The fact that she wears clothing that won't be worn for another few centuries doesn't make it any easier for her to fit into society either, but that's fine with her because she enjoys being an outcast, most of the time. All of that has made Ethel less-than-social. Ethel is incredibly intelligent, sardonic, sarcastic, usually good-natured, observant, and very powerful. She keeps her word and rarely tells a full-out lie, though she will certainly twist her words so that they aren't lies but they don't tell the whole truth, and is therefore perceived as a semi-trustworthy person. She has a certain code of ethics (influenced by witches and pirates, but mostly pirates) that isn't always clear, even to her. She typically has little to no regard of the laws of the land around her unless they are ruled by pirates or witches. If you have gained her friendship, then you have gained a powerful ally that will risk her neck for you. However, if you cross her, be prepared for the worst.

History: Ethel grew up to the far west of Q'thar in an area that was known for its high murder rate and vast black market and she was therefore sheltered by her mother for the first twelve years of her life. Her father wasn't around very often and when he was he was he was usually to drunk to be useful. It was in this drunken state that he had so often terrorized Ethel and her younger sister. Her younger sister hadn't inherited any of the typical witch powers, with the exception of seduction. Due to her lack of intelligence and decent judgment, she was killed at the age of 67. At the age of 13, Ethel's mother revealed herself as the true monster that she was, emotionally scarring Ethel for life. By the time she was 15, however, she became calloused enough to no longer be affected by her mother's cruelty. From that point on, Ethel laughed at anyone that tried to intimidate her and she outwitted them as well. And of course, if outwitting them didn't work, she had her immense strength to back her up.
When Ethel was 18, she was finally allowed to leave the Hell that had become home. But that didn't matter too much because she had escaped seven months before her eighteenth birthday and joined a witch clan that disbanded 100 years later. While she was in the witch clan, she developed her powers and became a powerful witch that was fully capable of just about anything, even time travel. After the clan disbanded, she traveled to the mid-1700s where she began her life as a pirate and fell in love with a pirate. After he died, her heart broke and she returned to her own time, vowing to make her lover immortal when she met him again (which would be when time progressed on its own to the eighteenth century). She took up residence in a wooden house that she calls home. She tends to avoid humans (and people in general) because of her childhood scars, but she occasionally visits the local tavern so she can watch the drunkards for entertainment and so she isn't completely cut off from the world. When Ethel encounters someone that she believes may have friend and/or ally potential, she will develop some sort of relationship with them, even if it only an acquaintanceship. To her dismay, however, she has yet to find anyone since the pirates that meets her criteria.

Weakness: Ethel easily becomes depressed. This hinders her ability to act as she normally would and it usually completely cuts her off from society. It affects her decision making skills and often results in an apathetic outlook on things. She must also keep her imagination under control, lest she once again develops a problem distinguishing what's real from what isn't.

Other: Ethel conjures up what she needs (food, drinks, etc.) and therefore has no need for contact with other beings with the exception of the rare need for companionship. She speaks her native language when she is alone (or at least believes that she is alone) and she will often sing in her native language as well. On rare occasions, her spirit changes like the wind. Although these times are brief, they cause Ethel a lot of trouble. Her final oddity is almost poetic: As the darkness descends, her true feelings are revealed.

September 22nd, 2007

Role Playing Games

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I would like to say that I need to stop telling people that I'm going to do something because most of the time I don't do it.

But anyway, before getting involved in the RPGs on Inqy's site, I decided that I should probably do a few rpgs somewhere else so I could get acquainted with how they work. The N's website has a section for role-playing so I decided to use that for role-playing for now. People come up with new games frequently so if for whatever reason the role-playing game I'm playing suddenly stops, I could join a new won. If I'm not mourning over the loss of my last rpg of course.

I've grown attached to the rpg I'm currently playing. It's about wolves and it started out with two packs being at war with each other. But eventually one of the wolves (Lasona aka me) saw a hunter. And at this point I think the packs are practically merging together because there are now only six people actually playing and we don't have any way of getting more pack members. I think it's strange how attached I've become to this rpg. It's like I feel the same way about the things that happen in the game as I would if they were actually happening to me.
Tags:

August 28th, 2007

This year is going to be very different from last school year. More on this later. Thanks to school starting at 7:35 in the morning and the bus getting to my stop ten minutes before 7 a.m., I have to hurry up and take a shower then get some sleep.

Oh how I miss the summer days when I could stay up until 3 a.m. and not be required to wake up before 12 p.m. Getting up before 8 a.m. is indecent.

August 26th, 2007

Courtney the Barbie

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So I did go to Wal-Mart and buy her a new outfit. The pants fit fine on her, but the skimpy excuse for a shirt...not so well. She was made in 1993 and she is very unique, which is awesome, but the new barbie clothes don't fit well on her torso. At least not this shirt. Luckily, it come with a hoodie. The hoodie doesn't come together in the front...but at least she won't freeze. Yes, I know she's just a barbie not a real person >>

I thought about getting her a Ken doll because I don't have any guys for my barbies and I thought that might make things more interesting, but the only choices were sandy blond beach boy Ken or tuxedo wearing "Will you marry me?" with a pink bow-tie and sash-thing Ken. So I went with neither.

Wal-Mart had one-outfit sets for about five dollars and four-outfit sets for ten dollars. One of those four outfit sets looked cool. Black and red stuff. But that would have been too much money for something to just buy on a whim, even though it was more economically sensible.

As I looked at Courtney the Barbie, I thought that she could make an interesting role-playing character. Her fingernails are blue, her lips are very dark red, she has two loops in her hair above her forehead, and she has blond hair (that looks like it was either meant to be sorta layered or her previous owner simply took a pair of scissors and made the barbie her own) with streaks ranging from tan to brown. She has joints everywhere so I could imagine her being athletic or secret agent like. She likes pink a little, but I'll forgive her for that.

Well, if I ever decide to actually do role-playing stuff, which looks like it could be fun, maybe I'll use Courtney as my character. That shouldn't conflict with too many laws... XD

Pondering

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I'm doing some summer homework that needs to be handed in in two days and I came across the term "War Crimes". It seems a bit redundant to me. I recall the hearing after WWII about war crimes. It seemed like only the losing side was convicted of war crimes.

Anyway, so the term "war crimes" is redundant. Most of these crimes involved killing people. If I recall correctly, war involves a lot of people being killed...and in that case, wouldn't everyone be convicted of committing a war crime?

Just because I've been looking for a reason to create a poll, I'm going to make one on the topic of "war crimes".

Nevermind, that would require an upgrade. A plus account is free but it has advertising, and I'm not very fond of advertising of most sorts. So I'll be sticking to basic for now.

But because so few people read my livejournal, I could simply ask if anyone else thinks that the term "War Crimes" is redundant.

Does anyone else think that the term "War Crimes" is redundant?

August 21st, 2007

I Finished

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I finally finished all of my work for my english honors class around 3 a.m. this morning. I sent it to my teacher via email and it didn't go the first time because I typed in the wrong email address, which I realized a few hours later. Before that realization, I freaked out a bit. I had a good reason to. If I didn't complete the work I would fail the first quarter and Mr. Leonard would have most likely told me to go to a lower level class. I worked on this stuff for too long for it not to be counted in my grade. he said he wouldn't accept anything late.

I decided to take a break today and start the rest of my summer work tomorrow.

After I finished my work, I had the urge to do something creative. Like create a new icon or come up with random character that I might one day write a story about. I did both. I came up with two characters and drew decent looking pictures of them that would be great for an icon, but I can't draw on my paint program very well. And I created an icon. I say sorry so much that I decided to create an icon for my problem. I call it "Apologizers Anonymous".

And here it is.







August 20th, 2007

The Paper

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My mother just yelled at me for being on the computer. She asked me why I get to say who goes on the computer. I told her it's because I have a paper due tommorrow. The english teacher didn't respond to any of my emails asking him questions about the paper. I think I already strongly dislike this man. Great. So I need to type this paper, review the other paper I finished, and I also need to send both of them to him (my english teacher) no later than tomorrow. The instructions said the paper is due no later than a week before the first class. I'll have my dad call the school tommorrow to make sure the teacher recieved my email with my attached paper. Knowing my luck, he actually wants the paper handed into the office at school.

I blame school for a lot of my problems right now. Those I've recorded in my livejournal, and those I'm too worried about someone seeing.

Cue big sigh.

My Live Journal Name

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Your Superhero Profile



Your Superhero Name is The Death Bolt

Your Superpower is Electrocution

Your Weakness is Snakes

Your Weapon is Your Cosmic Launcher

Your Mode of Transportation is Vortex

August 16th, 2007

Another Randomish Thing

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After reading about a paragraph from the rules thing for "World of Darkness" (which I sadly won't be able to play for a while because I don't have the power to buy video games and such online), something that I would say in a conversation that kinda has to do with that paragraph came into my mind.

"Yeah I'm a little afraid of the dark, but then again I'm not all that comfortable with the light either."

Maybe the rules from the game will give me help with figuring out how my friend(s) and I could randomly role-play in the weird magical world I'm making up.

August 15th, 2007

Apparently, I'm a Mage. Yay!


You Are A Mage
Take the World of Darkness Quiz
by David J Rust

August 9th, 2007

Hmmmmm

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I just came back to live journal and I read my last journal entry. I wrote it a little bit over a year ago. My memory hasn't been very good lately and I forgot why eighth grade was so bad for me. This must have been one of the many things that happened to me that year.
Myspace definitely shouldn't be taken that seriously. And it turned out the Top 8 thing was a mistake on Kelly's part. I am now third on Alex's Myspace, and I don't care too much.
Since writing that journal entry, I have become less attached to Alex, but I still love him and I am still his girlfriend, although we had a 1 month and 1 day break earlier in the summer.
Kelly really is my best friend and I'm pretty sure I can rely on her.
I haven't had the pleasure of talking to Kaytlin in a conversation for a long time due to her moving in with her other grandmother and her lack of internet access. One day, however, Kelly, Kaytlin, Alex, Butler Bob, and I will all live in the same house. I will never have to worry about when I'll get to see them again once this happens, and I might be able to start being happier then.
Since I last wrote in here, I have learned new things about life and may not be as cynical as I once was. I do, however, tend to be unemotional at times and I am leaning towards becoming an incurable hermit or recluse. I just can't stand being around most people that gather in public in crowds.
I have a few new obsessions. Classical music, the online role-playing-ish game called Tales of Pirates, and the television show M*A*S*H.
I plan on using live journal much more than I have in the last year, which will be easy because I haven't written anything here in the last year.
My immediate family is still incredibly irritating. my mother doesn't scream at me as much, probably because she yells at Emma now, though i feel that will change soon. Emma has learned to stay away from me but she still finds ways to annoy me. My father, who was the only one I didn't particularly hate, now helps my mother bug me by coming to tell me things that she already has. I suppose I've learned to deal with my mother better though. Things haven't been horrible since I had to call the police on her six days after her huge 50th birthday party.
Speaking of police, I would prefer to avoid all contact with them because that last encounter annoyed me. He called me a juvenile and pretty much told me not to call the police unless my mother was practically murdering us.
One more obsessive thing, I found a site called Onna Chance with cartoons that are wonderful for my sense of humor. It's called onnnachance.com. The website also has quizzes involving magical stuff, yay. I think the creator of the site has a live journal...I should look into that.
Well, that's it for now, I think. I'm sure I'll be ranting some time in the near future. Or maybe I'll think of something creative to type here. Time will tell, it has a funny way of doing that.

April 14th, 2006

Bleepin Life

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My doctor said the tallest I'll ever be is 5'6. She said I'm probably gonna be 5'4. So great, I'm gonna be a short, depressed, nerdy-lookin goth in high-school. Last time I went to the doctor she said I'd be 5'9. I could just about cry right now but that would be so typical for females according to guys. And my parents want to go to church up here in flippin PA. I told Mom it's Milford Mill or nothing. I'll still be a Christian, I just won't be going to church. If they stop going to Milford Mill, I'll be a pain for them. I'm not gonna leave where I've grown up and I won't leave my friends and future husband. Well, maybe he's not my future husband yet, but I'm trying. This is all a load of watery poop. That's worse than solid poop.

White Man

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I wrote a poem called "White Man" last night. It's about how white men have opressed the world. It's not very detailed, but I think it expresses how I feel about white men.

White Man

White Man, White Man
Oh how you oppress us.
White Man, White Man
You try to impress us.
But White Man, White Man
We know you’re screwing everything up.
White Man, White Man
We are not dumb.
White Man, White Man
You cause war and disease.
White Man, White Man
You cannot control us.
White Man, White Man
You take over everything.
White Man, White Man
You created slaves.
White Man, White Man
You told women to shut up.
White Man, White Man
You treat us like dogs.
Well White Man, White Man
We are fighting back.
White Man, White Man
You can’t abuse us any more.
Because White Man, White Man
We caught on to what you’ve been doing.
So White Man, White Man
Get ready for a war of sexes and races.
White Man, White Man
You have no power over us anymore.
Whit Man, White Man
You are the oppressor.
White Man, White Man
You are going down.

April 8th, 2006

Some poems I wrote

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I like making people depressed, maybe it's just a sick habit of mine. Too bad. I write poems and most of them are depressing, but considering Kaytlin is the only one who's going to read this, whatever. I don't need to explain anything to anyone. Thie first one is my most recent poem and it's a true story. I wrote the second poem on Wednesday. It started out as a love song but I'll change that some other time.

Suicide’s Aftermath

On Tuesday night Mrs. Robin Quinn came in.
She told the Gospel Choir that her son’s best friend had a fight
Sunday night
with his fiancé.
Later that day,
she went looking for him,
and although the light was dim,
she could clearly see,
the outline of the body of her husband to be.
It was hanging from a rope,
I guess he lost all hope.
He hung himself where his dad works,
I guess when you own a warehouse,
those are the perks.
So this week, instead going of a bridal shower,
the bride-to-be must go to a funeral that will last a few hours.
His parents are distraught,
wondering what he wasn’t taught
about how to solve arguments without fighting.
His father must go back to where his son died.
I was amazed when I found out how much he cried.
He wept and he sobbed,
probably wondering why his son had been robbed
of his life.
Robbed of ever having a wife.
He wasn’t really robbed though,
he chose to hang him self so,
this was his choice.
Was it because of his fiancé’s voice?
They’ll never know.
There is no evidence to show
why he did this.
But everyone knows that he is missed.
As for the bride-to-be,
there can’t be anyone more traumatized than she.
She’s the one that found him hanging from the ceiling,
there’s just no ability to imagine how she was feeling.
Whatever her boyfriend’s problem was is fixed for him,
because he’s dead and gone,
he can’t worry anymore.
But what about her?
She must be broken and emotionally unstable,
she’s probably crying right now at her kitchen table.
Does she blame his actions on herself?
Is she throwing things at the kitchen shelf?
I don’t know, but I can tell you something,
no number of years of therapy will help her forget this,
she never got to have that “I do” kiss.
Her fiancé is gone,
and his life is over,
did he wonder (and did he care) about anyone else
but himself.
All I know is,
no one that he knew,
will ever be the same.




Why?

You are there,
I am here,
Why aren’t we together?

Why does the rain fall?
Why do the birds call?
Why does everything seems to be fine without me?

Why is my sister so worthless?
Why is my dad drunk?
Why doesn’t mom do anything?

Why am I sitting here?
Why is it so late?
Why won’t you tell me if you want to go on a date?

Why can’t the world let me take a break for a minute?
Why do I see a bag of chips with nothing in it?
Why does everything seem so empty?

Why is home nothing more than a nightmare?
Why doesn’t anyone seem to care?
Why can’t people think about someone else for once?

Why is everyone one so selfish?
Why is everyone so greedy?
Why can’t people think about the needy?

Why is the human race such a disgrace?
Why does everyone think life is a race?
Why can’t anyone just be themselves?

Why do people lie?
Why are people so vain?
Why did everyone suddenly become insane?

Why can’t people live in peace?
Why can’t fighting immediately cease?
Why do people insist on torturing each other?

Why?

April 7th, 2006

Harsh realities and such

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The world is filled with wanna-be's, sluts, jocks, followers, and just sucky stuff. There's no denying it. I have unrealistic friends that can only see the happiness in the world unlike me. I can see how horrible the world really is. Kaytlin and Kelly can too. Kelly is my favoritest cousin ever and Kaytlin is the insightful, also realistic, friend that I can trust any information with. I know that the human race has taken over the world and they have made it so only if you are deceitful and manipulative can you make it through this world. The physcos scour the earth to kill, rape, and rob other human beings. Sluts take the minds of otherwise decent guys so the girls with some self-respect have no guys to go out with. Only the goths (and Im talkin about true goths, not sluts that act like goths to sleep with goth guys [this was inspired by Kaytlin]) loners, and other social outcats, can see the world for what it really is. These people become who they are usually because of their childhood (in my opinion anyway). Like me. My dad was (and still is) an alcoholic. Mom was apparently too tired to do anything about him and Emma was just a bitch. With Kaytlin's help, I realized that the world sucks and evryone should just die (except the select few that we will take into our village in Ireland).
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